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2005-10-20 @ 9:59 p.m.

I know I'm neglecting this diary but sometimes I prefer writing in my french version diary...If you do understand french you'll certainly enjoy my french notes (I'm ironic) check out www.20six.fr/espritdeslieux
Sorry for not writing in here, but I'm still reading YOU every single day after a hard day of human relationships....sometimes I would prefer working with animals..they don't speak, they don't yell at you..
Sometimes I just hate humans so much...as much as I hate myself...
That's why I have to poison myself. With alcohol.
Please God or someone above help me to stop eating this food and keeping me away from this temptations. I would like to stop poisoning myself with all this food = human relationships that make me ill..I'm loosing control above my ability to control my feelings and my body...stuffing my face and my stomach with bad food = with bad emotions and bad reactions
I hate all human beings they make me fat = they make my brain and my own self dirty. They make me loose myself, I'm not worth loosing my own sanity...but I feeli like loosing it.
My live depends so much on them, but it MUST not depend on them..I have to cut the string between what they are thinking of me and what I am thinking of myself...
Too much work to do on myself that I have no time to do right now...it's too late to work on myself I have to work on projects much more important than my own self...bad news don't you think..
I'll stop here don't wannt to take to much space for my own rablings got to tidy up my brain

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