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2005-07-12 @ 8:53 p.m.

I want to.... (die)....
I'm drunk as usual coze I'm always hiding a bottle of strong (19 or 20 %) alcool in my cupboard so my mother doesn't knows/discovers it and I'm throwing them in secret..
I think I rather sound like a bulimic hiding her vomit into bags...
I still haven't received the final response if I'm admitted or not to this famous school here in Switerland.....
I hope I'll knew it tomorrow or at least on thurday coze my mother has to pay for it and I have to send back a paper until friday..
I know I'll not able to do this school..I'm so afraid...I'm so tired..I look tired already...The alcohol is a bad friend...I'm just soo tired..I have to stop but I'm just no able to...when I'm drunk I sleep well...I don't think about all my probelms BUT I'm so tired...my liver must be destroyed...and I just can't stop coze I see no point in living..people are just so....I hate most of people..thery're shit..treating you like shit...
You know what ? I'll better die..I'll never fit into this world ..into YOUR world...

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