go wrong or ... ?
2005-07-11 @ 9:15 p.m.

I'm sick of my life right now...I'm a step away from my admission to my school (which starts on sunday the 24th of July) and I still don't know if I'm admited (spelling grammar ? fuck drunk as always no want to check sorry folks)
YOU CAN SKIP FROM HERE
So more difficulties on my way..I choose the wrong language for my computer while ordering it on the inertnet (portable in french) and choose the wrong program (the family instead of the professionnal one..) and it's a computer only sold by internet...a dell...so I think I have to send it back..but if I send it back I won't have it back for July the 24th...never..so worry worry stress stress...
I won't tell you about all the problems ..too much....I should have a appartment but I start too early on the mornings so I should better have an app. on the campus but now I don't know if there's sill got some left...so if I don't get one of these on the campus I probably have to wake up at 5 in the morning (and end at 7 at night plus go back home)...
And we had already bought so many furniture for my future app. ....all in Alessi style grey and blue...and I learnt that the flats in the school have aéready furniture in....
TO HERE if you're in a hurry or not interested in my life
I'm so tired...if you only know how much strenght it take me to do so little steps in my life....
I know I'm doing it mostly for my mother...and I hope everyhing goes well...
I'm so scared...
I'm just so scared of this new life...if my admission goes right...
I'll never get through...
So many rich people...so many hypocrites, so many "I am the best", I'm not like that..
I'm really really scared...
I pray they don't take me in there but I hope I'll not have to get back to my actuall work...
Maybe I'd better kill myself....my choise will be done...I'll carry it on my own I promise..
I fear this all could go wrong

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