crazy ?
2004-11-18 @ 10 :15 a.m.
I had a weird dream of being raped by my father. I'm still a bit shocked now.
My mother is acting with my dog like he was her grandchild. Confering him human thoughts and human behavior. That's the reason why he loves her more than me, I suppose.....she allows him everything, even eating with us on the dining-table (he's a chuhuahua....very small dog) which makes me angry at every meal...
Silly thought : I should get pregnent in order to satisfy her grandmother's needs.... maybe she'll stop acting so crazy with my dog.....
I think the Cipralex is working on my mind...I feel a bit more social and interactive with ppl. Maybe thinking of going out at night in the near future. But I don't think only some pills could change what I've been keeping for so long. There's such a long path to total recovery of mind, you can't gain self-confidence only with some pills, it's better but still not enough for me. I should maybe put some more effort in all this shit....but I just still can't find the right switch to let the light in.
I'm not surprised by my results
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | High |
| Schizoid: | High |
| Schizotypal: | Moderate |
| Antisocial: | Moderate |
| Borderline: | Moderate |
| Histrionic: | Moderate |
| Narcissistic: | Moderate |
| Avoidant: | Very High |
| Dependent: | Low |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Moderate |
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