Circus freak
2004-11-01 @ 7:55.m.

I keep trying to update more often...but I just can keep some promises to myself.
I'm so tired...even if I sleep not so bad every night..... even if I'm not going to sleep too late (not after 12pm). I'm just sooo tired... I think I'm just tired of life...I just don't know ...maybe I should take some vitamines...or just sleep later than 8 am in the morning....Or just take high doses of anti-depressants...or just keep sleep tillI die...just don't know..
I don't have the strength to go through the day even if I have to look and to act like a normal person. Sometimes it's so hard...how do they do ? being so awake and so full of energy ? I have to be a lazy bitch...I'm feel so bad sometimes...so weak...just weak of pretending I'm well enough to go thought the day...
I had a supper with all the staff (aka all the saleswomen and men) on saturday night...we went to the circus and we ate in there...tables around the arena, ppl acting like clowns..just pathetic...I didn't eat the meat and the mashed potatoes.
Every morning I feel like a fat cow.
Today I met the new boy who'll be working in my department 'till december 31st. He seems nice but I'm very suspicious to every one in general.
He's kinda cute..in a way...but I think he thinks I'm too skinny (or thin like my colleagues said on saturday) sometimes I'm ashamed of myself...but I just accept the way I look...and don't want to be fatter...

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