destruction
2004-10-14 @ 10:28 a.m.

I have to see my father for a chat ( I maybe should write MUST instead of have to...) before he definitely leaves for Poland. My mother hopes he'll leave me some of his art work (mostly paintings) in order to "hang on the wall of my future appartment" (in her words). But I know the only things he'll left me are anger, bitterness and lack of self-confidence in myself. The place he left has been re-filled....
I'll never forgive nor forget what he did or what he didn't do during all those years. I have learnt to live without him and now he's back (even for a short period of time) and trying to persuade me to his cause, hugging me (ick he never did in my whole life) and talking sweet words. He just hate it so much spending time with him...it's like a torture.
I want to shout to him "go fucking away you've done enough damage to my life already and I won't miss you !"
God how could our family reach to this state of destruction ?

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